my life sucks so bad right now words can't even describe it. i have less than one month before it all goes to hell. i spent my whole weekend at nyu law going over ridiculously difficult practice questions. now i have to spend the next few hours making flashcards. it's absurd - i feel guilty doing anything other than studying. i scoffed when some guy said he laminated his notes so he could read them in the shower. now i'm thinking i need a laminator. uuugh why did i do this to myself? life doesn't have to be a japanese game show obstacle course. keep it simple people! it's much better that way.
i hate the beatles so just so you know, the above is not a reference to them. i've eaten so much cake these past 2 weeks, i don't know how i fit in my clothes. probably one of the most eventful times of my life. as of yesterday, i'm unemployed! for 3 months. and people, just so you know, the COBRA health insurance plan is not cheap, even for a single person, no matter which option you choose. it's like $550/mth for me. so if you ever want to take time off and want to continue your health insurance in the meantime (who doesn't?), make sure you factor in the expense.
i don't like saying goodbye to people. it's always an awkward experience, esp when i'm the one doing the talking. i'm happiest with a handshake and a "keep in touch" but there was a lot of hugging and face-kissing. i'm the worst at that. i always miss the other person's cheek and wind up blindly kissing the air. i had about 50 chances to perfect my aim yesterday but my success rate was like 10%. the duck hunt dog is snickering at me right now.
the wind was ridiculous when i walked out of school and suddenly, while i was thinking to myself - "my how ridiculous is this wind?" - the brightest lightning ever dazzled me and then it was just as if hundreds of buckets of water were being poured on me at once. of course i didn't bring an umbrella and i had to be wearing 3 inch sandals that i couldn't run in, so i tottered home in the pouring rain, 5 long blocks in a total brutal downpour, absolutely drenched. nuts!
it's currently thundering. i can hear the patter of drops falling onto my air conditioner and the hiss of tires on the wet road. i hope the temperature cools down a bit. it was pretty hot out earlier. i had to run some errands and came back to my apt needing a shower and a popsicle.
this studying is no fun. i really need to find time to get into it. anytime i try, i either have to go to work or i get distracted. around 4 this morning, i woke up from "the fear." as much as i loathe that stomach-wrenching burn, it's exactly the motivator i need. make anxiety work for me!
i stopped in urban outfitters today to get a pair of jeans and wound up buying a bit more than that. every year i manage to lose clothing so that i wind up cursing at my closet when i discover that the seasonal favorite that would perfectly complete the outfit is missing. the disappearance of clothes may have something to do with how i get my laundry done for me since i don't have a washer in my building. also, at the bottom of my returned bag of laundry are single socks whose mates have mysteriously vanished. perhaps the bermuda triangle lurks in the back of washers and dryers, or maybe someone else has found a single pink striped sock or a skeleton t-shirt in their laundry bag. anyway, i had to stock up again on sundry items. i was supremely disappointed in urban's selection. no cute sundresses and most of the jeans were these uberskinny pants that i had to roll on like stockings. in this sticky weather, skin-tight jeans are definitely idiotic. also, it appears that high-waisted jeans are in style. reminded me of my old uncle bob who would pull his pants up to his chest. he was really cool but that's old person chic, not something i - or even gisele bundchen - could legitimately pull off with any degree of success. luckily, apart from fashion pages and folded in piles at the urban outfitters stores, i have never seen these high-waisted pants in public.
back to the grind. big brown did terribly at the belmont. i guess this shows the capability of steroids - his trainer took him off steroids just for this race. whereas he came in first by lengthy leads in the first two, he was dead last in this one. the triple crown will have to wait another year.
busy week and busier weekend. i resigned on tuesday (last day june 20th) and a friend visited from FL this weekend. i think i gained like 50 lbs from all the food we ate. seriously, at 10 pm last night we went to magnolia's and gorged ourselves on cupcakes and red velvet cake. i can't believe i waited in line for cupcakes. i am such a 2 year old at heart.
we saw the mets play the dodgers yesterday. luckily the rain held off long enough. some nutty family in full on red sox regalia sat next to me. i guess they were related to the people sitting three seats on the other side of me b/c the mother kept screaming to the lady on my left. her awful toddler kept kicking me and then showered me in spit. and then she threw up hot dog all over my feet and the mother was going on at the top of her lungs about how the toddler was going to crap herself from eating the hot dog. to top things off, the mother kept badmouthing the yankees the whole time (strange - since this wasn't a yankee game). she then would say to her toddler, "what do you think of the yankees?" and the toddler would yell "BAD." over and over. i'm not the baseball fan i used to be, but i do like the yanks and this was the equivalent of pouring salt in the wound. but i didn't say anything, even though the whole red sox entourage blocked me from getting beers.
shea stadium was described to me as a giant toilet, and when the game is over, it flushes everyone out. yeah it was kinda like that. after growing up at games at veterans stadium though, nothing really disgusts me.
i actually have the AC on. it's pretty hot today. took a nice walk in the morning, sat outside at a nice cafe for some coffee, did a quick run to the airport, and now it's time to hit the books. i ran into a number of my classmates today who were all going to the library to study. way to make me feel nervous. but graduation is this week so that's one huge ordeal done, only one more to go.