syntax

move it move it move it

ahh one of my favorite games!!! time to play "what went bad in my refrigerator?"

this past holiday was pretty decent, aside from the 4 1/2 hr drive back to NY which should have really only taken me 1 1/2 and finding out while behind a cellphone toting driver that my car's horn doesn't work like it did before - it groans sadly. it seems i've worn out my horn which i, with not a little pride, take to be a sign that i am finally a true NYC driver.

well over the weekend i managed to catch up on some awesome movies, like the uncensored stuff from borat, finally electric dragon 80,000V w/o the dvd crapping out, and last but certainly not least, police academy 2: their first assignment. oh i used to be the biggest fan of the police academy series. such a lost art, these wonderfully ludicrous '80s movies. steve guttenberg, you were so dreamy as mahoney. and bobcat goldthwait in his prime, terrific even before your tour de force, shakes the clown. there was the beatboxing guy who could do all those sounds and hightower the giant, who would remove the front seat of his car and sit in the backseat to drive, and of course tackleberry, the ted nugent of the bunch. awesome.

now i see all these movies released are oscar contender emotional drivel. bring back the silly! be not ashamed of humor, nudity, and improbable endings!

high five!

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/d7e5ec2c55

i can has teh untz untz

for house/electronic/tribal/etc. music, this site is a nice find: http://www.traxsource.com.

on a sort of related note, some random songs i've been listening to:

m'black - "day dream"
code red - "sexy dancer (thommy & spen mix)"
funkerman and fedde le grand present f to the f- wheels in motion - "nervous rewind 2007"
mn2s - "things we used to do (original)"
faithless - "bombs (benny benassi)"
johnny corporate - "sunday shoutin'"
cern - "go fly (kerosine mix)"
armand van helden - "my my my (stonebridge 2006 mix)"
joey mazzola and mike balance - "in a groove"
mike balance - "star trunk funk"
bodyshock - "attack of the bodysnatchers"
cerf, mitiska & jaren & jaren - "light the skies (retrobyte classic electrobounce mix)"
mike foyle presents statica - "for your eyes only"
scott wozniak - "stand up"
stonebridge featuring theresa - "put 'em up (jj club mix)"

my favorite of the bunch is faithless "bombs" with benny benassi. faithless has been a great group that's been putting out terrific music for years. the lyrics and the beat are fantastic.

this will be the best movie ever made

roadside attractions states:

The film tells the story of high school student Dawn (Jess Weixler) who works hard at suppressing her budding sexuality by being the local chastity group's most active participant. Her task is made even more difficult by her bad boy stepbrother Brad's (John Hensley) increasingly provocative behavior at home. A stranger to her own body, innocent Dawn discovers she has a toothed vagina when she becomes the object of violence. As she struggles to comprehend her anatomical uniqueness, Dawn experiences both the pitfalls and the power of being a living example of the vagina dentata myth.

--

"struggling to comprehend?" wtf that's like my dream. link to the awesome trailer.

turducken

wtf!

according to wikipedia:

"A Turducken is a partially de-boned turkey stuffed with a de-boned duck, which itself is stuffed with a small de-boned chicken. The name is a portmanteau of those ingredients, turkey, duck, and chicken. The cavity of the chicken and the rest of the gaps are filled with, at the very least, a highly seasoned breadcrumb mixture or sausage meat, although some versions have a different stuffing for each bird. Some recipes call for the turkey to be stuffed with a chicken which is then stuffed with a duckling. It is also called a chuckey."

courtesy of the internet, about 4 years ago, turducken has become a fixture of my nightmares. i have problems with an interspecial meal. generally i'll tolerate eating meat and seafood, like in stir fries or in surf 'n turf, but i feel a little guilty. like i had a little more than my fair share of killing. i draw the line at turducken.

i mean the thing is gross. look at it! who needs all that meat? you have people eating grubs to get by and someone out there is chomping on a 30 lb fat bastard's wet dream. it's the very embodiment of decadence.

a friend attempted to recreate this monstrosity on her own last thanksgiving. according to THIS recipe (i don't suggest you look b/c the photos are plastic surgery sickening), it takes 8 hours to roast. it took her like 13 to cook the damn thing and it turned out disgusting. seriously i would barf putting that thing together. if you're one to turn your stomach into noah's ark, i suggest you pay a visit to dr. moreau or you order one at one of the few places online that sell this. personally, i would be about as comfortable as ordering a sex toy online as i would a turducken.

sonya "the black widow" thomas took on the fearsome turducken and came away a winner. http://www.blacktable.com/turducken031217.htm.

damn is there anything she can't eat? well i know what i won't touch. bon appetit, freaks!

can't win

i am being utterly crucified in the realm we call "real life." it's not fun and so i am eagerly awaiting the brief respite of thanksgiving, though i will sit there in guilt because for 12 hours, i will not be doing any work. fate is nice enough to put the culmination of everything i do at the end of the year, and i will be killing myself with 8 deadlines i have due the first week of december, and 3 weeks of studying and finals to the end of that month. and then of course there is xmas shopping and the other crap that the holidays entail of and that i usually accomplish the two days i usually get between my last final and xmas.

but the work - work work and homework and studying for finals - isn't as off-putting as dealing with awful people. i tried to put together a nice holiday evening out at a swank restaurant for some people, but the person who was helping me wanted to invite another group of people too, so i said whatever, you take the reins, and so he invited the other group and this one lady in my group is as livid as hell about it for some crazy reason only known to her, and she cursed me out yesterday and went around telling everyone how ridiculous i am for changing the plans on everyone and how she's not going anymore. it's insane. so i said good riddance, but she's really ticked and is talking mad shit about me behind my back like i actually did something to slight her. jesus. i'm always nice but i'm not "going above and beyond" anymore because the status quo is probably that for a reason. it's tried and true and has proven effective in avoiding confrontation with lunatics who should be bound with straitjackets and tossed to ravenous lions.

and now this elderly pervert i loathe is going as well as a dried-up old cougar i can't stand who spends her days yakking to no end about the ugly men in her life and counting calories and looks and smells like a prostitute. i don't want to deal with this. it's too much stress and i probably should be studying anyway instead of wiling my time and money away.

in saudi arabia, a gang rape victim was sentenced to 90 lashes with a whip. i can't believe countries exist that are that backwards.

zebra hunt

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFVF4z19E8k

i'm the operator with my pocket calculator

so i built a computer and it works, finally. it was actually harder than i imagined to do b/c there was something wrong with the first motherboard and it took me a while to figure out that the motherboard was at fault. i think it helps if you add stuff on gradually rather than build everything at once, so that if one component isn't working, it's easily identifiable since you know all the others are working fine. but it's working now and no complaints.

(i need to redecorate)

i bought a half-gallon of cider from the NW side of the union square greenmarket. it's marked "breezy hill orchards" and it's the awesomest cider i've ever tasted. i got it from a stand where i usually buy pies and cobblers for thanksgiving. i don't know what their name is, but i always recognize them. the place was mobbed on saturday morning. that market is the best around this time of year b/c everyone sells cookies and pumpkin bread and i love pumpkin bread. i tried a new pumpkin bread recipe 2 weeks ago but i failed. i personalized it with some additional ingredients and no matter how long i baked it, it never cooked thoroughly. so i nuked individual slices until i thought it was cooked. it tasted pretty good but looked like dog crap. i had some at work and one of my coworkers was all like, "ewww what are you eating?" i gotta work on presentation.

i just had blitz out. it's my favorite weather right now - brisk but not painfully cold. hope this sticks around before it becomes hellish outside.

if anyone knows of any decent themes for XP, can you send me a link?

because i was evil!

courtesy of J:

five biggest badass popes.

i call dibs on the last one! he's a sexy bastard.

when i take over the world, i will be pope rasputin the destroyer.
the only one who shall defeat me is the flying pope head. *spoilers!*

ziga zig-ah

new spice girls video. to be honest, the sound card on my laptop doesn't work unless i enable it each time through control panel and the first time i saw this, the sound wasn't working, and it was way cooler. now that i've heard it, well the song is crap but they all look good and that's always been the winning spice girls' equation. they all have been obviously siliconed up for this occasion, which seems to be a big deal since they're strutting around in couture like their reunion is so important that it literally will alter the rotation of the earth. posh looks hot (tho wtf is she wearing?). i don't think she actually sings a word. ginger looks like a man. seriously, ppl are oohing about how hot she looks. do guys really like chicks with commando abs? to each his own. surprisingly sporty looks one of the best of the lot. cute bangs. i can't tell who's actually singing. i guess it really doesn't matter. ellen von unwerth, eat your heart out. i haven't seen this much cloth on the floor since i put off housecleaning for 3 months.

even though altogether they've had enough kids to repopulate certain new england states, they all look better than they did when i was in high school. i can't wait for spice world 2!

for decent music, one of my favorite artists who goes by a million names (orielle, m'black, matt schwartz, dada) has a fun song under the name dada (featuring sandy rivera and trix) called "lollipop." dancy club fun.

and yes there's a tekken movie coming soon. if there's one thing we need, it's another mediocre live-action video game movie. it's been so long since DOA, i actually felt some brain cells regenerating. so the corporations are once again behind this one. 7 corporations who arose from the dust to rate all men. logically. together they formed the iron fist. such a cute little oligopoly. where are the sherman and clayton acts? conveniently eliminated, eh bill gates - er heihatchi mishima?

remember that guy in FFXI who had my company name as his character name? i used to get so boggled whenever i saw him. would blow my mind at 3 am after a bottle of cheap wine, thinking i had some spreadsheets to review. i should totally petition the CEO to change our name to tekken, llc. then who would have the last laugh, FFXI guy? daylight savings time ftw - 1 more hour.

wunderbar

there are few things worse than staying in on a saturday to work on editing someone else's interminable and abstrusely-written paper. i suppose being on death row or bleeding to death from an amputation are two examples, but i'm at a loss for any others at the moment. well at least it was cloudy all day. if it had been nice out, i would be extremely bitter right now. i had really planned on hanging out by the delaware river, but there are deadlines to meet.

my desktop is coming along. all it needs now are a new video card, sound card, and monitor. the ones i salvaged from the old desktop are usable though an upgrade is definitely needed. but all in good time. i didn't spend anywhere near $1,000 on parts, but i don't feel like spending any more right now.

to be released soon are crysis, and i believe hellgate if it's not out already. both look fun and have me eyeing the geforce 8800 cards on newegg but i have to wait lest studying for exams become impossible.